I just spent like 3 hrs yesterday trying an ansible playbook to setup mastodon, but then, lost the desire to host my own instance 😂

@druid speaking of bugs, that's an issue in twidere. the 500 character limit is hardcoded rather than fetched by the instance

awww there's no /etc/nginx/site-available on fedora by default

with ansible on baremetal, humm this is going to be fun

Just having random memories of high school and

God damn
I never eralised it
but the girl I was the closest to? was like, the queen of the fucking school, she was the prettiest, the smartest, the sexiest
DD cup tits by 13
Natural blonde with luxurious long hair
Just the most fucking, stunning face
great body
she was top of so many classes

And she turned down EVERY boy. EVERY like, football (soccer to americans) playing alpha male type, all the most like, fit and "desired" guys in the school? they just gave up asking. They fucking gave up, man. They found easier girls to prey on. She wasn't interested.

She was NOTORIOUS for just rejecting people cold, just issuing that flat "no"

then one day she walks right up to me
I'm popular, right? But not the "chad" kind of popular. Like, I'm already fat as a teenager, I'm known for being a pervert, for beign weird. I'm one of the smartest kids in school but not in math or science subjects, I'm just known as the most literate, the best writer, I'm a good actor, etc., I was captain of the debate team and stuff

But i'm known as this huge pervert, like, really bad, like it's a meme, people draw pictures of me kidnapping the powerpuff girls and shit and putting them in my basement, like I harass so many of these girls, making up shit about them (like what I think they taste like), like picking on the cute ones (never hurting them, just like, stroking their hair and stuff and saying creepy Hannibal Lecter tier stuff)

So anyway here I am, I'm loud and popular but i'm known as this like, fat kinda groady kid too, like I was kinda greasy during puberty

And this
who the whole school wants and NOBODY has ever so much as KISSED or TOUCHED
she's NEVER been out with a boy, NEVER been home with a boy
she walks up to me in front of EVERYONE
and says "I'm coming to your house tonight."
And she did.
And we had this long friendship after that. It lasted the rest of high school.

It got sexual sometimes. I spanked her. Sucked her feet a bit. She liked to edge me. Then she liked to get spanked for doing it. She was so wet. christ. But we never had sex. What the fuck was I doing? What the fuck was SHE doing?

We got super close. She'd like, corner me and look me RIGHT in the eyes and tell me her dreams,and ask me what they meant. She'd stare off into the distance. Sometimes she'd CRY looking off into the distance.

She'd get existential. I didn't have the answers. She'd come over to my house and play guitar for like, 5 fucking hours, or write a story with me, or fucking just, ask me to talk to her about something, anything, and watch my face and listen intently, her clear blue eyes unblinking, her mouth never smiling until I was done.

Everyone else was surprised when, after graduation, she chose to become an artist instead of going to university. And she succeeded, too. When I got curious a few years later and looked her up on facebook (thankfully you didn't need an account to do so back then LOL, i've never been THAT stupid), she was making money off it. Painting and sculpture mostly I think, some peformance art too?

She was so eager to stay in touch that she actively sought me out and when I explained why I wasn't on facebook, she took to emailing me. When I said I no longer trusted Google, she humoured me and made a lavabit to email me with instead of gmail.

But we never really got talking too in depth when we met again. Because by then she had a serious boyfriend, and I knew. I knew there'd be a part of her that was off limit now. I knew any discussion, any intimacy, would be ultimately complete.

I think she recognised that there was "something wrong with me" and liked me for that reason, becuase there was "something wrong with her" too. I was her only male friend (FUCK YEAH) but all her closest female friends were... people with whom there was "something wrong" too.

Anyway. Enjoy the memospore.